This is the exact opposite of what my flight is doing right now — flying.

I really didn’t think I saw those cursed machines at my airport before, but lo! they are here…

After I got my ID and boarding pass checked, the TSA officer motioned for me step towards what was definitely *not* the regular metal detector, and I saw a woman inside standing in the obligatory take-a-peek-under-my-clothes pose. I asked for the pat down instead, and was directed to through the metal detector. I did, but never got my groping.

But I did get a courtesy 2-hour delay.  Thank goodness for free wifi while I wait to go ho-ho-home for the holidays.